Are You Boston’s Least Bad Driver?

Maybe you really are better than everyone else on the road. (Photo: Raysonho/CC0 1.0)

Do you live or drive in Boston, Massachusetts? Do you ever get the feeling that you’re the only person in the entire city who knows how to operate a motor vehicle safely?

Well, now you can test this theory—under the auspices of the city government, no less. Today, Boston announced the “Boston’s Safest Driver” competition, which pits Massholes against each other via a handy smartphone app.

“The app provides you helpful feedback on your driving based upon five metrics: speed, acceleration, braking, cornering, and phone distraction,” explains the app’s website. Thanks to a partnership with the Arbella Insurance Foundation, monetary prizes will be awarded weekly to the safest and most improved drivers. (In a cynical twist, you can also win money for not using cars.)

This announcement comes on the heels of the annual Allstate “Best Drivers Report,” which ranked Boston at the very bottom, followed closely by Worcester and Springfield. This is the third year in a row that Boston has received this dubious honor—which, to be fair, likely has as much to do with its spaghetti-like streets as it does with its problems with Dunkin Donuts coffee abuse and self-control.

If you’re a Bostonian who’d like to figure out if you’re the best of the work, you can download the app from this page. Good luck, everyone. Just don’t check your stats while you’re driving, you bleeping bleep of a bleep.